The effects of PTSD on someone’s life leaves almost nothing unchanged. This is what I have experienced with Severe PTSD:

• Panic attacks of intense fear and stress that can feel like you are having a heart attack.
• “I was afraid to leave my house, not knowing when or if I might die.”
• “Many times, I felt threats to my life when there were none.”
• “I had many weird dreams about killing or death.”
• Some days, the depression is so bad that I sit in my chair for hours, too tired to move or talk.”
• “I was cold, distant, and unable to form close personal relationships.”
• “I feared for those close to me that they could die for no reason.”
• I was obsessed with killing.”
• Flashbacks that make you feel like you are reliving the event that led to PTSD.
• Feel as if you can’t relax. You are always on edge, jumpy, irritable, and easily angered. You have a hard time concentrating and sleeping normally is impossible.
• Have nightmares related to the traumatic event. These nightmares feel very real.
• "Killing Animals is a Precursor to Killing People - You're A Walking Time Bomb Ready To EXPLODE." -The Medical team giving an assessment of me during my lock-up, 2005
• “Mr. Kirkpatrick represents a threat to any work environment. He is quickly and easily angered and has the capacity for violent behavior.” – Psychological Evaluation, 2007.

For nearly sixty years, I’ve dealt with severe trauma and the effects of exposure to Agent Orange to my body. This had led to many mental and physical issues:

Mental Issues:
• PTSD
  
• Bipolar disorder
  
• anxiety disorder
  
• panic attacks
  
• depression
  
• paranoia
  
• dissociative amnesia
  
• insomnia
  
• drug abuse
  
• alcoholism
  
• violent behavior
  
• flashbacks
  
• nightmares
  
• relationship issues

  Physical Issues:

• Type II diabetes
  
• sleep apnea
  
• restless leg syndrome
  
• tinnitus
  
• high blood pressure
  
• Osteomyelitis that led to spinal fusion
  
• right & left upper extremity peripheral neuropathy
  
• right & left lower extremity peripheral neuropathy.

War is a devastating occurrence that destroys lives and leaves a long-lasting effect on its victims. One of its effects is PTSD. Why Didn't I Die: A Memoir of PTSD by F. W. Kirkpatrick is a memoir of the author's experience in the army during the Vietnam War and also his struggles with PTSD.

During the Vietnam War era, Fred Kirkpatrick was drafted. He joined the army and was assigned to the First Infantry Division. He served his country bravely and witnessed a great deal of horror. After his discharge, he married Barbara and started a family. But life after Vietnam was not easy. He suffered from severe post-traumatic stress disorder. It affected almost every area of his life. He had paranoia, anger, survivor guilt, substance abuse, anxiety attacks, and depression, amongst others. He suffered this for forty years.

PTSD is a prevalent issue in our society that desperately needs more awareness. It affects not only veterans but also individuals who have experienced trauma. This book sheds light on this issue. Kirkpatrick uses his experience to show us the devastating impact of war and the long-lasting effect it can have on individuals and families. By sharing his story, he sheds light on PTSD and dispels stigmas and misconceptions surrounding it. It also shows the importance of providing support and empathy to those struggling with PTSD.

This book gave me a deeper understanding of the horrors of war. Kirkpatrick's vivid storytelling quickly transported me to Vietnam, where I witnessed the brutality and chaos of war through soldiers' eyes. Kirkpatrick spares no details as he recounts the horrors that occurred in Vietnam. His willingness to share his war struggles and mental health makes this book a jewel. I found this book enlightening. It has educational value. Before reading this book, I did not know much about the Vietnam War or the Army, and I found Kirkpatrick's explanation of military protocol and strategy fascinating.

This is a great book, but it has a drawback. I spotted over ten errors while reading, and these errors disrupted my reading flow. For this reason, I rate this book 4 out of 5 stars. I highly recommend this book to avid readers of the Vietnam War and the effects of PTSD.

****** Review by Sbitan Mohammad, Sept 1, 2024, OnlineBookClub.org Review from Onlinebookclub.org - September 4, 2024

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